In the pursure of Buddha way

With food we can share and communicate our emotions. It’s that mindset of sharing that is really what you’re eating. There is no difference between cooking and pursuing Buddha’s way. It’s been almost half a century since I entered this way. I did it in pursuit of enlightenment. I am not a chef. I am a monk.

– Jeong Kwan

Creativity and ego can not go together. If you free yourself from the comparing and jealous mind, your creativity opens up endlessly. Just as water springs from a mountain,  creativity springs from every moment. 

You must not be your own obstacle. You must not be owned by the environment you are in. You must own the environment, the phenomenal world around you. You must be able to freely move in and out of your mind. This is being free.
At least, this is my belief. 

Buddha way is “live the moment” way, it’s about treat the ingredients with care and respect, being humble and forget about yourself.

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That’s what help me recovering from BED.

It’s been a while I like to write this post. But I was not confident yet, but now, I can stand high and say: goodbye BED!

About a year ago, I was still frequenting “The White Bandage”, an association which helps people who suffer with eating disorder. 

My eating disorder started from 10 years ago when I was in university , I was trying to lose weight and got obesessed. I avoid going home during the weekend then I could be alone at school and don’t have to eat. I got too skinny until my period stopped for over a year. My mum got worried and took me to the doctor. Slowly by slowly, under the help of medicine, I went to the normal weight.

During my five year in Paris, I was healthy and not a second I thought about my weight, I was happy then.


It didn’t last until I moved to Iceland in 2014. The isolation and lonliness somehow awakened the devil inside me. I become obsessed about food, about the weight again. It’s not until I dropped to only 35 kg that I was alerted. I looked myself into the mirror and the only thing I saw was a skinny child, not a charming woman at all. 

The worst thing about BED is the self-deficient after each binge. I will feel completely a loser and idiot. Why did I do this to myself? It’s the last time i swear. I’m not going to eat anything for the next day. I have to stop this !

I am lucky.

I have a husband with whom we talk about everything. We trust each other completely. There’s no secret or taboo between us. So he noticed my eating disorder. I start going to “The White Bandage”. She’s a lady of my mum’s age, with very gentle voice and tender eyes. When she looks at you, it’s full of compassion and love. She’s an art therapist . With each section , I draw a picture, whatever was on my mind.

After stop seeing her (since my weight went back to normal and so does my period), I still had couple of times “crime”. But I didn’t feel guilty anymore. 


Today, I’m pregnant which was the least thing I expect of myself. It’s a truly gift. I see it as a transform. I know this devil root will always be there, but I’m not afraid anymore because I choose not to. I choose to be healthy, joyful and graceful.

So that’s what I do if I feel a sign of craving:

  1. I listen to some soft music or music that emotional attached
  2. I go for a walk
  3. I avoid eating alone
  4. I avoid being too hungry
  5. I make myself a cup of warm chai tea with milk and sugar
  6. Call a friend or my mum

This is my story. I do hope it could help those who’re suffering from eating disorder. 

新年快乐!Happy Chinese New !

小年夜,我竟然失眠了。

难道是因为下午的一杯意式浓缩咖啡吗?还是因为心心念念大年三十要准备的菜点?在看了一小时的书和听了半个小时的催眠音乐还没有睡意之后,我决定索性起床准备糖藕。

糖藕自己是一次也没有做过,在饭店吃过几次,非常喜欢,于是网上寻找菜谱,还挺简单的,就是费时间。于是凌晨五点的我在厨房把生糯米慢慢地塞在藕里,三节藕,塞了我差不多一个小时。

时间才6点过,还是回床上躺下吧。

醒来的时候已经9点了,虽然还是有点累,但是因为今天大年夜,还是很兴奋。今天太阳也格外的好,吃了简单的早餐后,开始准备红焖羊肉了。

八角,茴香,香叶,陈皮,几颗大红枣,一点花椒,几片老姜,料酒,老抽,生抽。把这些调料先下油煸炒,出香味之后,再放入事先汆过水的羊肉,上色,放入高汤,开小火慢慢炖,火越小时间越长,炖出来的肉越嫩越香。

我很少做中餐,一来很多食材这里买不到,二来中餐虽然比较好吃,但油味比较重,也比较费功夫。但是新年嘛,一年就一次。

之后就开始准备包饺子了,饺子皮是买现成的,这里的饺子皮特别薄,几乎像小馄饨皮,所以每次煮起来都要格外小心。馅用的牛肉蘑菇和芹菜,老公不是很喜欢吃猪肉,我个人也比较偏向牛肉。

最后准备的一道非常有上海风味的菜是糖醋排骨。自己也是一次没有做过,一直觉得像糖醋排骨,红烧肉,烤麸,腌笃鲜这类的菜是比较考验技巧的。但是之前一个朋友做过一次,所有人都很喜欢。所以这次决定挑战一会。

这里买排骨也是比较费神的,因为很少人买,所以即使超市有新鲜的,也是腌制了bbq料的。老公走了好几个超市后,才买到两条速冻的,总比没有好吧。

平底锅放入适量的油,放入冰糖或者白砂糖,不去动它,让糖在油里慢慢融化,变色,当差不多金黄色的时候,迅速放入之前汆过水的排骨,这时候动作要快,不然糖就焦了。上了色之后,放入料酒,生抽,醋,话梅和少量水。开小火,让排骨慢慢的炖差不多一个小时,最后开大火收汁,洒上熟的白芝麻。

结果他们每个人都很喜欢吃,特别是小孩子们,酸酸甜甜的味道最适合他们了。

这顿年夜饭虽然简单,也花了我整个下午的时候,但心里很开心,开心在于准备的过程,希望心爱的人在新的一年里事事顺心,财源滚滚。

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Fruitein

For my last month of pregnancy, I decided to take Fruitein every morning.

It’s protein energy shake packed with more than 30 kinds of fruits and green vegetables. Usually I’m not fond of protein shake like this, I believe they are made to build muscles and after work-out.

Yet my midwife said that it could be a good idea since I’m slightly under weight. It’s not that I’m worried that I’m not getting enough nutrition, but for a healthier baby.

Hidden gem in Reykjavík

Yesterday we tried a new Mexico restaurant in Reykjavík.

It’s located in the mid-centre.

The moment you walk into the restaurant, the warming, south-American waves hit you. Colourful carpet, Mexico music, pink purple lights, everything is just so bling bling and get your attention.

We tried the menu “Unexpected latino voyage” and that of “vegan voyage”. Both are six course, sharing menu.

For the latino, we had tuna carpaccio, beef tartar taco, chicken taco, cod fish, duck breast and beef. For the vegan version, we had grilled broccoli, home-made pickled vegetables, tofu taco, grilled celery root and almond milk ice-cream.

Burro

Sophisticated Chinese New Year sweet treat

We all know that France is famous for their sweets, but do you know that in China we also have very sophisticated dessert, specially when it comes to the Chinese new year.

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Chai Pao (soaked in tea)

They are more of a art than a food. They are made of a special Chinese winter melon, carefully craved then cooked in a sugar syrup for a long time. And then slowly dry with the wind.

To enjoy, make a cup of green tea, and drop in one piece of sweet melon.

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Zao tang (candy for the Kitchen God)

A sweet original from Northern China.

It is a kind of candy made of maltose that people in China use as a sacrifice to the kitchen god around the twenty third day of the twelfth lunar month just before Chinese New Year. Guandong tang refers to stick shaped candy with a thickness of 2 cm and a hollow in the center. Tanggua is made into melon shape and sometimes with sesame on the surface.

The restaurent which deserves one michelin star.

We’ve been dining all over Iceland, yet this one is definitely one of the finest.

It’s located in one of the most popular tourist places – Blue Lagoon.

After dipping yourself into the geothermal bath after a long hour, a bubbling wine and a light meal is what you deserve.

The decoration in LAVA Restaurant is a mixture of modern and mixture, with lava cliff and big windows to the lagoon / swimming area.

They used to serve the best sushi in the country during lunch time, and now they are selling them in the Café area.

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I had a non-alcoholic cocktail drink , which is a blender of smashed strawberries and basils, refreshing and very lady-like.

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Starter: Porched artic char with picked cucumber, picked pearl onion.

The fish is cooked into perfection, melt right into your mouth.

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Main: Grilled cleric root with spiced chickpeas and dill oil.

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For dessert we chose a cheese plate, they’re all Icelandic cheese.

Clockwise from top to bottom are : white moulded cheese (4 weeks), Gull (another white moulded cheese, a bit stronger than the former one), Yellow cheese (12 month), Blue cheese and the most interesting one “ljótur”(which means ugly in English), it’s a cheese between white moulded and blue cheese.

It’s the first time I tried to pair blue cheese with chocolate, and it’s not bad at all.

So if you’re travelling to Iceland, please stop by Lava Restaurant, I’m sure you’ll not be regretted.