Meditation is in everyday life

If you ask a person has he/she ever been meditated ? The answer would probably be no.

Meditation seems to be a big word that scare people away, “Meditate ? Are you nut ? I’m no monk or saint. I’m too busy.”

But what actually is meditation ? In my opinion, it’s all about doing something mindfully, with your full attention, whatever it’s cleaning, cooking, making bed, listening rock n’ roll or sitting in peace and quiet.

o-beach-meditation-facebookWe have a friend, he meditates through heavy mental. In the beginning, I’m really surprised how could he stay focused and have peaceful mind in such a “noisy” surrounding.

This morning, when I was changing bed sheets, I meditated. I did the whole thing slowly and carefully, instead of hurry things up and think it’s an annoying task. My husband told me that once he dated a lady who worked in hotel and had to change bed sheets everyday and she had the most beautiful muscles on the back shoulders that he ever known.

zen-meditation-mudra

Yesterday on the radio, there’s a man talking about his meditate. He said that he practising yoga frequently and meditate through an APP. You can turn the APP from 15 minutes up to 2 hours’ meditation. This is pretty smart I think. It’s a combination of technology and ancient wisdom. As a person spend quite a time on internet, I started googling. The first APP came up was “Calm“. It also has the feature to help improving sleep. I think it’s essential for everyone to find their own way of meditate.

 

Advertisements

Better tomorrow

Something happened today made me reckoned myself.

What is feelings ?

Is it real ? Or it’s just some chemistry in our brain that makes us think …

It is true that we feel the way we think. The question is: can we control our thinking ?

I like to believe that we do can control our thought by practising meditation, mindfulness, yoga, or under the help of psychologist.

Yet the reality is more crucial. Sometimes our mind is just a wild elephant, no way to control. And before we even know, we already did or say something that we should not be doing.

I consider myself a very calm person, I don’t judge people, I let things happen. Therefore, I don’t have this “line” like some people have. The “line” that nobody would across.

Is it a good thing or a bad thing ?

My husband is the opposite of me. I admire him, for his enthusiastic, his compassion and his honesty. When he was a boy, the teacher told his mother that he had ADHD, but his mother said: No, my son is just a hard-working boy ! His mother not only accepte him how he is but encourage him to be himself.

Northern light from our house

The time is 1:22 in the morning and I really want to fall asleep. But my mind kept me awake. 

I’d like to wake up totally fresh and full of energy . We shall all embrace life instead of living in the past. I’d like to say goodbye to yesterday and never think about it, just let it go. 

“Chaque jour est un arbre qui tombe” (everyday there’s a tree who dies), but everyday there will also be a new life, a new hope, a new start. 

I truly agree that it’s never too late to start doing something, to make some changes.

Everyone makes mistake, either you live with it or you fix it.  – Sense 8

Oil painting from a friend

Be the strength with me cause I can feel it! Every time when the baby kicks, I know I’m not alone. I don’t want to think anymore, I’ve been thinking too much. Actions speak louder.

I have faith tomorrow will be better!

 

 

That’s what help me recovering from BED.

It’s been a while I like to write this post. But I was not confident yet, but now, I can stand high and say: goodbye BED!

About a year ago, I was still frequenting “The White Bandage”, an association which helps people who suffer with eating disorder. 

My eating disorder started from 10 years ago when I was in university , I was trying to lose weight and got obesessed. I avoid going home during the weekend then I could be alone at school and don’t have to eat. I got too skinny until my period stopped for over a year. My mum got worried and took me to the doctor. Slowly by slowly, under the help of medicine, I went to the normal weight.

During my five year in Paris, I was healthy and not a second I thought about my weight, I was happy then.


It didn’t last until I moved to Iceland in 2014. The isolation and lonliness somehow awakened the devil inside me. I become obsessed about food, about the weight again. It’s not until I dropped to only 35 kg that I was alerted. I looked myself into the mirror and the only thing I saw was a skinny child, not a charming woman at all. 

The worst thing about BED is the self-deficient after each binge. I will feel completely a loser and idiot. Why did I do this to myself? It’s the last time i swear. I’m not going to eat anything for the next day. I have to stop this !

I am lucky.

I have a husband with whom we talk about everything. We trust each other completely. There’s no secret or taboo between us. So he noticed my eating disorder. I start going to “The White Bandage”. She’s a lady of my mum’s age, with very gentle voice and tender eyes. When she looks at you, it’s full of compassion and love. She’s an art therapist . With each section , I draw a picture, whatever was on my mind.

After stop seeing her (since my weight went back to normal and so does my period), I still had couple of times “crime”. But I didn’t feel guilty anymore. 


Today, I’m pregnant which was the least thing I expect of myself. It’s a truly gift. I see it as a transform. I know this devil root will always be there, but I’m not afraid anymore because I choose not to. I choose to be healthy, joyful and graceful.

So that’s what I do if I feel a sign of craving:

  1. I listen to some soft music or music that emotional attached
  2. I go for a walk
  3. I avoid eating alone
  4. I avoid being too hungry
  5. I make myself a cup of warm chai tea with milk and sugar
  6. Call a friend or my mum

This is my story. I do hope it could help those who’re suffering from eating disorder. 

Happiness is not about having a lot, but being “careless”.

Over the weekend, we drove to Selfoss, where one of the biggest National Park of Iceland is. It was 50-year-old birthday of a friend.

It was so beautiful on the way, snow covering the mountains, mosses, and the sky, it was kind of blue that take your breath away.

I feel very lucky every time I see the landscape like this.

img_0094

The hotel we stayed called “Borealis“, very warming and family-friendly atmosphere. The party went very well, I even saw the Northern light after dinner. They were so bright and dancing through the sky.

img_0098

Happiness is as simple as that, it’s not about having a lot of “stuff”, but being a bit “careless”. We should live in harmony and sometimes think in other people’s shoes, let go things. What belongs to you will eventually come to you, what doesn’t belong to you, whatever you do, it will only go away from you.

 

 

Wherever you go, there you are.

Today I want to recommend a book that inspires me a lot, it’s by Jan Chozen Bays “How to train a wild elephant“. It’s mostly talking about mindfulness.

Jan Chozen Bays, physician and Zen teacher, has developed a series of simple practices to help us cultivate mindfulness as we go about our ordinary, daily lives. Exercises include: taking three deep breaths before answering the phone, noticing and adjusting your posture throughout the day, eating mindfully, and leaving no trace of yourself after using the kitchen or bathroom. Each exercise is presented with tips on how to remind yourself and a short life lesson connected with it.

Mindfulness is considered the heart of Buddhist meditation. But its essence is universal and of deep practical benefit to everyone. Mind and body works in harmony. We are what we think we are. The power of mind is enormous. Not only it controls our mood also our feelings. Therefore, I believe it’s important that we focus on the moment, and train our mind to think positively.

 

What it’s really like to live with ADHD

Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a brain disorder marked by an ongoing pattern of inattention and/or hyperactivity-impulsivity that interferes with functioning or development.

  • Inattention means a person wanders off task, lacks persistence, has difficulty sustaining focus, and is disorganized; and these problems are not due to defiance or lack of comprehension.

  • Hyperactivity means a person seems to move about constantly, including in situations in which it is not appropriate; or excessively fidgets, taps, or talks. In adults, it may be extreme restlessness or wearing others out with constant activity.

  • Impulsivity means a person makes hasty actions that occur in the moment without first thinking about them and that may have high potential for harm; or a desire for immediate rewards or inability to delay gratification. An impulsive person may be socially intrusive and excessively interrupt others or make important decisions without considering the long-term consequences.

What it’s really like to live with ADHD

 

Deal with your stress.

A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they’d be asked the “halfempty or half full” question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: “How heavy is this glass of water?”

Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.

She replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.”

She continued, “The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything.”

Remember to put the glass down.

photo-water-drop3