In the pursure of Buddha way

With food we can share and communicate our emotions. It’s that mindset of sharing that is really what you’re eating. There is no difference between cooking and pursuing Buddha’s way. It’s been almost half a century since I entered this way. I did it in pursuit of enlightenment. I am not a chef. I am a monk.

– Jeong Kwan

Creativity and ego can not go together. If you free yourself from the comparing and jealous mind, your creativity opens up endlessly. Just as water springs from a mountain,  creativity springs from every moment. 

You must not be your own obstacle. You must not be owned by the environment you are in. You must own the environment, the phenomenal world around you. You must be able to freely move in and out of your mind. This is being free.
At least, this is my belief. 

Buddha way is “live the moment” way, it’s about treat the ingredients with care and respect, being humble and forget about yourself.

Advertisements

梦想

受我父亲的影响,从小我就爱下厨房。总是有一个画面,我站在父亲身边看他炸猪油,打鱼丸,做蛋饺等。我很享受做菜的过程,慢工出细活,我喜欢没有压力的慢慢打理。不像我在餐厅做主厨助手,那是对速度和人抗压能力的考验。当然啦,如果你去餐厅,肯定不希望一份菜要等超过30分钟。即使米其林餐厅,上菜的速度也是很有保证的。

所以我一直有一个梦想,自己开一个餐厅,做自己喜欢的菜,用心做。我和老公提起过好几次,他都是给我一盆冷水,说我只是喜欢做菜,但不懂得经营之道,肯定会亏本。所以这颗梦想的种子在我心里一直埋着没有发芽。直到上周,他突然提起开餐厅的事情。说如果能在我家附近,盘到好的地,他愿意开一家餐厅或者咖啡馆让我打理。

天哪!

我简直不敢相信自己的耳朵,也许我的梦想真的要照进现实了。于是这几天,我就在想如果开餐厅,要开成什么样子,取什么名字,做什么菜,等等等等。

我希望的餐厅是人们进入餐厅后可以慢下来,享受周围坏境和全身心投入吃饭的餐厅,绝对不是汉堡、薯条、匹萨饼。但是也不是米其林那种过度注重视觉感官的。我在一条视屏上看到一个坐落在台湾叫春余院子的餐厅,就是我想要的那种餐厅,非常的有禅意。

真心希望有一天,我的梦想可以实现。

That’s what help me recovering from BED.

It’s been a while I like to write this post. But I was not confident yet, but now, I can stand high and say: goodbye BED!

About a year ago, I was still frequenting “The White Bandage”, an association which helps people who suffer with eating disorder. 

My eating disorder started from 10 years ago when I was in university , I was trying to lose weight and got obesessed. I avoid going home during the weekend then I could be alone at school and don’t have to eat. I got too skinny until my period stopped for over a year. My mum got worried and took me to the doctor. Slowly by slowly, under the help of medicine, I went to the normal weight.

During my five year in Paris, I was healthy and not a second I thought about my weight, I was happy then.


It didn’t last until I moved to Iceland in 2014. The isolation and lonliness somehow awakened the devil inside me. I become obsessed about food, about the weight again. It’s not until I dropped to only 35 kg that I was alerted. I looked myself into the mirror and the only thing I saw was a skinny child, not a charming woman at all. 

The worst thing about BED is the self-deficient after each binge. I will feel completely a loser and idiot. Why did I do this to myself? It’s the last time i swear. I’m not going to eat anything for the next day. I have to stop this !

I am lucky.

I have a husband with whom we talk about everything. We trust each other completely. There’s no secret or taboo between us. So he noticed my eating disorder. I start going to “The White Bandage”. She’s a lady of my mum’s age, with very gentle voice and tender eyes. When she looks at you, it’s full of compassion and love. She’s an art therapist . With each section , I draw a picture, whatever was on my mind.

After stop seeing her (since my weight went back to normal and so does my period), I still had couple of times “crime”. But I didn’t feel guilty anymore. 


Today, I’m pregnant which was the least thing I expect of myself. It’s a truly gift. I see it as a transform. I know this devil root will always be there, but I’m not afraid anymore because I choose not to. I choose to be healthy, joyful and graceful.

So that’s what I do if I feel a sign of craving:

  1. I listen to some soft music or music that emotional attached
  2. I go for a walk
  3. I avoid eating alone
  4. I avoid being too hungry
  5. I make myself a cup of warm chai tea with milk and sugar
  6. Call a friend or my mum

This is my story. I do hope it could help those who’re suffering from eating disorder. 

新年快乐!Happy Chinese New !

小年夜,我竟然失眠了。

难道是因为下午的一杯意式浓缩咖啡吗?还是因为心心念念大年三十要准备的菜点?在看了一小时的书和听了半个小时的催眠音乐还没有睡意之后,我决定索性起床准备糖藕。

糖藕自己是一次也没有做过,在饭店吃过几次,非常喜欢,于是网上寻找菜谱,还挺简单的,就是费时间。于是凌晨五点的我在厨房把生糯米慢慢地塞在藕里,三节藕,塞了我差不多一个小时。

时间才6点过,还是回床上躺下吧。

醒来的时候已经9点了,虽然还是有点累,但是因为今天大年夜,还是很兴奋。今天太阳也格外的好,吃了简单的早餐后,开始准备红焖羊肉了。

八角,茴香,香叶,陈皮,几颗大红枣,一点花椒,几片老姜,料酒,老抽,生抽。把这些调料先下油煸炒,出香味之后,再放入事先汆过水的羊肉,上色,放入高汤,开小火慢慢炖,火越小时间越长,炖出来的肉越嫩越香。

我很少做中餐,一来很多食材这里买不到,二来中餐虽然比较好吃,但油味比较重,也比较费功夫。但是新年嘛,一年就一次。

之后就开始准备包饺子了,饺子皮是买现成的,这里的饺子皮特别薄,几乎像小馄饨皮,所以每次煮起来都要格外小心。馅用的牛肉蘑菇和芹菜,老公不是很喜欢吃猪肉,我个人也比较偏向牛肉。

最后准备的一道非常有上海风味的菜是糖醋排骨。自己也是一次没有做过,一直觉得像糖醋排骨,红烧肉,烤麸,腌笃鲜这类的菜是比较考验技巧的。但是之前一个朋友做过一次,所有人都很喜欢。所以这次决定挑战一会。

这里买排骨也是比较费神的,因为很少人买,所以即使超市有新鲜的,也是腌制了bbq料的。老公走了好几个超市后,才买到两条速冻的,总比没有好吧。

平底锅放入适量的油,放入冰糖或者白砂糖,不去动它,让糖在油里慢慢融化,变色,当差不多金黄色的时候,迅速放入之前汆过水的排骨,这时候动作要快,不然糖就焦了。上了色之后,放入料酒,生抽,醋,话梅和少量水。开小火,让排骨慢慢的炖差不多一个小时,最后开大火收汁,洒上熟的白芝麻。

结果他们每个人都很喜欢吃,特别是小孩子们,酸酸甜甜的味道最适合他们了。

这顿年夜饭虽然简单,也花了我整个下午的时候,但心里很开心,开心在于准备的过程,希望心爱的人在新的一年里事事顺心,财源滚滚。

8f99d59d3cb0f07132ae4ad767f7cb51

Fruitein

For my last month of pregnancy, I decided to take Fruitein every morning.

It’s protein energy shake packed with more than 30 kinds of fruits and green vegetables. Usually I’m not fond of protein shake like this, I believe they are made to build muscles and after work-out.

Yet my midwife said that it could be a good idea since I’m slightly under weight. It’s not that I’m worried that I’m not getting enough nutrition, but for a healthier baby.

Hidden gem in Reykjavík

Yesterday we tried a new Mexico restaurant in Reykjavík.

It’s located in the mid-centre.

The moment you walk into the restaurant, the warming, south-American waves hit you. Colourful carpet, Mexico music, pink purple lights, everything is just so bling bling and get your attention.

We tried the menu “Unexpected latino voyage” and that of “vegan voyage”. Both are six course, sharing menu.

For the latino, we had tuna carpaccio, beef tartar taco, chicken taco, cod fish, duck breast and beef. For the vegan version, we had grilled broccoli, home-made pickled vegetables, tofu taco, grilled celery root and almond milk ice-cream.

Burro

Tisane

Tisane is also called herbal tea, which are usually contain mint, dill, fennel, anis, flowers…etc. Because they’re caffeine-free, thus a perfect drink for pregnant women and for those who doesn’t consume caffeine. They also have digest and calm effect to the body, having one after a meal is just heaven.

I got this bag from a friend in Norway, she picks the herbs from her own garden and dry them.

img_9965

Tea cup from tipcup